


When there is hope

by bombom_mamasita



Series: Not Enough [4]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-24 21:18:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3784579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bombom_mamasita/pseuds/bombom_mamasita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been five weeks since Tony was found. They have gone through hell and back, and Gibbs wasn't sure they could handle more of this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It has been five weeks since Tony was found. They have gone through hell and back, and Gibbs wasn't sure they could handle more of this.

In those five weeks they have seen how Tony struggled between insanity and reality. They saw how this horrible sickness destroyed Tony’s mind and refused to let go.

“Good morning, boss. How is he?” A tired voice asked and Gibbs sighed before facing the newcomer.

“The same” Gibbs answered and Tim’s shoulders sagged.

“Oh” The young man murmured. “At least he’s not worse, right?”

Gibbs’ face hardened. “Don’t give up now, this is more than what we were told to expect.” The fact that Tony wasn't a drooling mess was surprising, everyone thought he was so far gone he couldn't even pee by himself. But Tony showed them wrong; he was still there and refused to give up. “Tony recognizes you, McGee. You were the first person he recognized; he only smiles when you’re with him and everytime he sees me he looks for you. So don’t give up now.”

“I am not giving up, boss.” McGee bit his lips and with a pained voice defended himself. “I'm afraid, okay?”

“Afraid of what?” Gibbs frowned. “He won’t hurt you, McGee.”

“I know that!” Tim shouted and immediately regretted it when Tony stirred. “He knows who I am but, does he know what I am to him?”

And now Gibbs understood what had Tim so confused, but what could he say? He couldn't lie and tell him that everything was going to be okay, that Tony will wake up tomorrow being the same man he was before. Even he wasn't that stubborn, even he accepted that the Tony he knew and loved has changed and will need help for the rest of his life to function properly.

“I don’t care if he’s sick and will be for the rest of his life, I don’t care if I have to help him until the day I die but I need to know he is aware of what we were before.” Tim cried softly, not caring that his boss was there. “Maybe I'm being selfish, maybe Tony needs me just to be there for him and I shouldn't care about our relationship, but I need to know that there’s still hope for us.”

NCIS – NCIS – NCIS – NCIS – NCIS – NCIS

Tony was getting better. He was starting to recover his memories and discern between his delusions and reality.

He recognized the young man who visited every day. He recognized the older man who visited every day. He recognized the young woman who visited every day.

But he was confused. Why didn't any of them recognize that he was there? He knew the name of the young man but not of the other two. He was trying so hard to stay here, where soft words and warm hugs made him feel safe but nobody cared about how hard he was trying.

They looked at him the same way his father used to do it. They looked at him with disappointment.

And he didn't understand why.

He was trying to be good, he wanted to be good. But it was never enough.

He didn't know what they wanted from him.

But he will keep trying.

He knew he could do better but first he needed to take care of the woman in white who hated his voice.

NCIS – NCIS – NCIS – NCIS – NCIS – NCIS

Abby was the first person to notice that today Tony was different.

He was watching television, actually watching instead of simply staring at it with a vacant gaze.

“Hey, Tony!” She greeted cheerfully and was rewarded with a smile. The first smile he gave to someone who wasn't Tim. She looked him straight in the eye and hugged him. Her eyes widened when Tony returned the hug and sighed into her shoulder.

Abby closed her eyes and bit her lips to stop the tears from falling. She missed Tony so much that it felt like dying knowing he was so sick and there was nothing she could do. She thought she could avoid the issue and simply act normally until Tony got better, but it wasn't happening. Tony needed her to accept that he was sick and needed professional help.

“Oh Tony, I love you so much.”

NCIS – NCIS – NCIS – NCIS – NCIS – NCIS

C visited today and he was so happy when she hugged him. He felt safe and so loved when she did that. She talked a lot but he enjoyed her company. She brought him clothes, books and movies and even if he didn't care much about those things he felt happy just hearing C’s voice.

B didn't talk much; he touched his cheek while looking at him with tender eyes and after a quick “hello” he would sit next to him not moving at all. He liked the way he made him feel safe simply with his presence. He was sure B would make the woman in white pay for hurting him.

But from them all, he loved it when A visited. A held his hand for hours and would talk to him softly while touching his hair. He wanted A to stay with him forever but it looked like A had a lot of stuff to do.      

He knew A was the person who held him at night and make him feel really happy before the woman in white came and destroyed his life.


	2. Chapter 2

The first time Tony spoke will be forever in Abby’s mind.

She had just arrived and sat next to him by the window. He reached and held her hand without hesitation; she smiled and started talking about her day.

Everything was going well until a nurse entered. She was new and apparently Tony didn't like her because he started yelling the exact moment the nurse tried to take his vitals.

“NO! NO! NO!” Tony screamed with a terrified voice and become combative. Abby, coming to her senses, tried to calm her friend down but it was not possible. Tony just yelled and cried in anguish and fear until another nurse, this time a man, stepped in with a sedative.

They didn't know what set Tony off. Maybe it was the nurse being a new face to him, maybe he had a hallucination, or he was remembering something…or it was the light, the food, the noises…who knows?

But she had never been a pessimist so to her the bright side of all this was that after his episode, Tony started responding more to their presence.

* * *

 

“I think I found the perfect DVD for you, I will bring it tomorrow before going to the office.” Tim spoke softly and smiled when Tony did the same. “But first, you must eat your breakfast. The last thing I need is the staff getting mad at me for spoiling you.” And Tony laughed.

When Tim visited it was obvious just by looking at Tony’s face. He would laugh, eat his food and make his therapy without one little complaint. Tony would hold contact with Tim and mimic everything he did.

It gave Tim hope, even if his mother and sister were worried about him putting too much of his free time on Tony. They were supportive when all this started but now they thought it was a losing battle.

But what else was Tim McGee supposed to do? He loved Tony and even if they could never be together like they were before Tim just wanted to help and see Tony, the man he loved, gets better as much as it was psychologically possible.

And Tim was confident that Tony could get better, more so when Tony started to seek his presence, sitting at his side and hugging him without prompting. The first time it happened Tim almost dies of shock but recovering quickly hugged back.

* * *

 

The first time he talked about the woman in white, Tony was sitting outside with Gibbs by his side. Gibbs was reading at him while at the same time caressing his hand.

“Go” Tony said in an almost inaudible voice. “Go”

Gibbs immediately looked at Tony. Did he really hear Tony’s voice? It’s been almost four months and apart from his episode a few weeks ago, he hasn't uttered a word.

“Hey, Tony” Gibbs said slowly and softly. He was freaking out, his palm started to get damp and his heart was beating rapidly, but from the outside you could only see calmness.

“You make her go” Tony said in an anguished voice. “Please”

Gibbs nodded. “Of course Tony, I will help you.” He had no idea what the younger man was asking for and it didn't matter, Gibbs would do whatever was necessary to make his Tony come back from whatever place in his mind he was.  

The second time it happened Gibbs was helping Tony wash his hands.

“She is still here.” Tony tensed and looked blankly at the wall in front of him. Gibbs bit back a growl at whatever was tormenting his boy’s mind, and like a father with a young child, took Tony by the hand and guided him to the bed. “Make her go, please.”

It broke Gibbs’ heart every time Tony begged him for help. “I will take care of her, Tony. You don’t worry.”

And Tony nodded.

It was the same each time Gibbs visited; they all were convinced that it was a persistent hallucination but couldn't figure out the source since Tony only spoke about it to the man that has been like a father all this time.

* * *

 

It was obvious B needed help getting rid of the woman in white, maybe D could help him. Yes, Tony was sure D would help B take care of the horrible woman that have been tormenting him since he was a boy.

“Make her go.”

Ziva jumped. She actually jumped in surprise when Tony spoke to her. So far he had only talked to Gibbs and it was to _ask him and beg him_ tomake someone go away. And apparently now she was being asked the same.

“I will do it, Tony.” She said firmly. “But you have to tell me who she is.” Maybe he would finally reveal who _she_ was and all this mystery would be over. She held Tony’s hand and forced him to make eye contact.

“She mean.” Tony whispered. “She evil.” He added. “Blood before but not now.”

Ziva suppressed a shiver. “What does she do, Tony?”

“She likes sailors.”Tony shrugged. "But not me."

“Okay, Tony. We will help you take care of her.”

When Ziva told Gibbs the details of her talk with Tony, the older man didn't let her finish and went immediately looking for Tony’s doctor.

* * *

 

See? Tony was right! B took care of the woman. Well, he needed help from D but that was fine. His B was there for him, helping him and making the room brighter.

And he guessed D wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

 

Tim felt like he could breathe again. They finally knew who the woman in white was. The hallucination showed the first person who made an impact on Tony’s life, who marked him for the rest of his existence.

It was Tony’s mother. It had always been her. Or well, you know Tony’s mind representation of her.

“Hello, love.” Tim saluted softly. “I brought more DVDs and now we can have some ice cream while we watch them.”

Tony smiled and nodded with enthusiasm but stopped after noticing Tim’s bruised neck. He got agitated and started to whimper.

“Hey, love. It’s okay.” McGee tried to calm Tony down. “I’m okay, some bad guy tried to hurt me but Gibbs saved me, again.”

Tony frowned and bit his nails. It was obvious he was feeling frustrated. McGee took his hands and kissed it.

“I'm okay and you are too. This Saturday we’re going to watch as many movies and Gibbs allowed it and we’ll have fun. Okay, love?”

Tony nodded and smiled at the mention of Gibbs. The older man had been acting as Tony’s medical proxy and the staff treated him as his father, and Gibbs was okay with that; he was aware of the change of roles in his relationship with Tony. Right now Tony DiNozzo needed family support and, since Senior and nothing was the same thing, it was Gibbs’s job to make his ex-agent feel loved, accepted and cared for.

“Yeah, okay.” Tony replied in a whisper.

_Did Tony talk to him?_

Tim’s wide eyes looked at Tony with total disbelief, but then he swallowed hard and as if nothing had happened turned them both to the TV screen. He smiled but in the inside he felt like throwing up, he was freaking out.

_Tony talked to him!_

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have a beta, I don't even have a friend who will beta this for me so there will be mistakes.
> 
> Sorry.


End file.
